smokin!

i threw away my pack of cigarettes today after smoking a stick. i fear i am getting addicted. i must go cold turkey. see me buying a pack tear it in half immediately.

i should smoke socially and not smoke for e sake of doing it. frankly it hurts my throat but then again i held them in my hand for over 5 seconds before tearing them into half. the power of nicotine. i hoped alcohol would numb the effects of the cigarettes, it did not. but now i do get it when smokers say they get this renewed sense of concentration and this relieved craving thatthey had yearned for... so at my strongest, well after i smoked a stick i tore the rest in half.

i do not care my human spirit is stronger than smoking itself... i will not be addicted i will not be addicted i refuse to be burdened by something, a stick, a thing to be reliant on an item created by man!

oh and swollowing smoke kinda makes my tummy curn a little before i burp out smoke. interesting. but then again i tried to not inhale too much so tt the nicotine would set in i just kept it in my mouth long enough for the tingling sensation to set in.

oh God help me.