Loneliest Man In The World
Don't you think that in life itself, it is ironic that when we are bogged down with work we humans complain of too much work. Then when there is no work at all we complain of it as being too boring.
As we go through life, the bitter irony is that when we are young we get so caught up in life and society - the new world that we are exploring. We always want to explore. But when we grow older, have kids and settle down the cycle repeats itself through your children. There you are, left all alone again as your children get caught up in their lives and sometimes forget that you even exist. A lonely existence it is, old, cold and hungry for interaction, many old folks depart of this life in this manner. Maybe with this experience i'll know how it feels like to be left alone. i maybe suffering a bout of cabin fever i suppose, i'm the kind of person that needs to go out there. Needs social interaction, needs to do something. Anything.
''Cabin fever is an idiomatic term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow). Symptoms include restlessness, irritability, paranoia, irrational frustration with everyday objects, forgetfulness, laughter, excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with, and an urge to go outside even in the rain, snow or dark. ''
The rain of not having a close companion (of which i've declined - silly yes, but i must learn more about myself before committing) is one that cores you to the very bone, i guess it would be even worse if i were located in the arctic circle or some desolated island - is this how hell would feel like? Immeasurable loneliness. I wouldn't use the word solitude, solitude describes one being contented with one's self - you are just residing in your comfort zone, all confident and self dependent, still happy no doubt.
Is life a lie? That we rely solely so false pretenses that society gives us? How do i find this immeasurable solitude that i know that i will be happy with myself even as the seasons change? How do i love myself? Accepting the ''who am i'' for ''what it is'' that i was created as me and only me. It kind of brings me to the understanding of youths and elderly folks all at the same time. Both are bored and would like to do something. But what the youths lack is maturity to process what is right and what is wrong, which often lands them into trouble that is a constant abyss where some are condemned for life or sent to the gallows.
I feel young and old all at the same time, so much so that my irrational behavior often creeps into my mind, to just do things at a whim - like getting a tattoo or more piercings, driving to the airport and buying the first ticket i see out of this town or to just work at a random job. The only reason i hold back is because i know that all these are just numbing agents to get me away from the burning questions about life within me. Yet i know that i am not alone in this world that most probably a special someone is reading this. Well don't be surprise if i hang myself, i'm not at that stage yet, but i couldn't imagine living for decades in this rut. I really do wish to find my inner self. That inner sanctuary to solidify my character and understanding of myself, that i do not need society to become my crutch to aid me in my daily walk in life. My thanks goes out to my friends and strangers who have lent a listening ear to my silent plea for help.
Many ignore, even fewer listen. People who you care for but do not show due care. I will remember this moment, for those who are so caught up in life to not be able to stop and smell the roses, or just be there to listen. To those power hungry mongers who think that they are atop of the world.
To these people, Mark My Words - I will not be there to listen when your greatest time of need is at hand.
You shall be your own best enemy, you will learn that the world does not revolve around you for such transient experiences can be forgone at the whims of fate, woe to you for the days of reckoning shall be at hand.
May the grace of God let me get past this time of reckoning, for people of true hearts know when to stop, drop everything and to reach a hand out into an abyss to help someone. I thank you.
As we go through life, the bitter irony is that when we are young we get so caught up in life and society - the new world that we are exploring. We always want to explore. But when we grow older, have kids and settle down the cycle repeats itself through your children. There you are, left all alone again as your children get caught up in their lives and sometimes forget that you even exist. A lonely existence it is, old, cold and hungry for interaction, many old folks depart of this life in this manner. Maybe with this experience i'll know how it feels like to be left alone. i maybe suffering a bout of cabin fever i suppose, i'm the kind of person that needs to go out there. Needs social interaction, needs to do something. Anything.
''Cabin fever is an idiomatic term for a claustrophobic reaction that takes place when a person or group is isolated and/or shut in a small space, with nothing to do, for an extended period (as in a simple country vacation cottage during a long rain or snow). Symptoms include restlessness, irritability, paranoia, irrational frustration with everyday objects, forgetfulness, laughter, excessive sleeping, distrust of anyone they are with, and an urge to go outside even in the rain, snow or dark. ''
The rain of not having a close companion (of which i've declined - silly yes, but i must learn more about myself before committing) is one that cores you to the very bone, i guess it would be even worse if i were located in the arctic circle or some desolated island - is this how hell would feel like? Immeasurable loneliness. I wouldn't use the word solitude, solitude describes one being contented with one's self - you are just residing in your comfort zone, all confident and self dependent, still happy no doubt.
Is life a lie? That we rely solely so false pretenses that society gives us? How do i find this immeasurable solitude that i know that i will be happy with myself even as the seasons change? How do i love myself? Accepting the ''who am i'' for ''what it is'' that i was created as me and only me. It kind of brings me to the understanding of youths and elderly folks all at the same time. Both are bored and would like to do something. But what the youths lack is maturity to process what is right and what is wrong, which often lands them into trouble that is a constant abyss where some are condemned for life or sent to the gallows.
I feel young and old all at the same time, so much so that my irrational behavior often creeps into my mind, to just do things at a whim - like getting a tattoo or more piercings, driving to the airport and buying the first ticket i see out of this town or to just work at a random job. The only reason i hold back is because i know that all these are just numbing agents to get me away from the burning questions about life within me. Yet i know that i am not alone in this world that most probably a special someone is reading this. Well don't be surprise if i hang myself, i'm not at that stage yet, but i couldn't imagine living for decades in this rut. I really do wish to find my inner self. That inner sanctuary to solidify my character and understanding of myself, that i do not need society to become my crutch to aid me in my daily walk in life. My thanks goes out to my friends and strangers who have lent a listening ear to my silent plea for help.
Many ignore, even fewer listen. People who you care for but do not show due care. I will remember this moment, for those who are so caught up in life to not be able to stop and smell the roses, or just be there to listen. To those power hungry mongers who think that they are atop of the world.
To these people, Mark My Words - I will not be there to listen when your greatest time of need is at hand.
You shall be your own best enemy, you will learn that the world does not revolve around you for such transient experiences can be forgone at the whims of fate, woe to you for the days of reckoning shall be at hand.
May the grace of God let me get past this time of reckoning, for people of true hearts know when to stop, drop everything and to reach a hand out into an abyss to help someone. I thank you.
posted by Frederick at
5:35 AM
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