Square and Round

Going to the DNA camp was enriching, i gained a new perspective on the new stepping stone that i should be going onto. A talk with Franco always enriches my life to see how God is working in our lives as well as an insight into deeper matters.

I've always wanted a Godly relationship and have always been trying so hard but what i didn't notice was that i was giving not His love but of my own love through my own self effort to the girl. Many times when a girl comes and is desperate for love i end up giving sympathy and one thing leads to another. What i never noticed was that it was the wrong path because i am trying to fit a round bolt into a square hole that will not fit.

This insight led me to the understanding that... a person i should look for is one that is exploring the concept of marriage and nothing else, not for physical or emotional gains. It's like a lego brick, A lego brick in itself is just a brick, when i come in and attach myself i am still detachable, i do not weld myself or herself to each other. Now please don't get me wrong i am not saying that this give me the license to go around frivolously sleep around.

What i am saying is that we must rely on God's love to give love to one another. If i first do not possess love that is given to me what more to give something that i do not have. A girl that comes desperate to you is one that is not in the right frame of mind, one must be whole before being a whole with another person. You cannot heal others when you're sick yourself - makes sense yeah?

I hope that you are reading this and i've fulfilled the list that you wrote about me, if i have not; i know i will in time to come. If your friends do want to tell you stuff concerning me be it good or bad, it does not concern me because if you would like to hear it straight from me then let me speak and judge me based on me and not by the tinsel that is placed around my neck by the world.

We both loved each other but unknowingly gave till we were dry. For we were not first shown and given love to be able to love each other. Both of us had voids to fill which was wrong for a start for no human will be able to fill that void. We should have just explored the prospects of marriage and to know that we are full and whole in our own right before setting forth upon our journey together. Thank you for being there on this leg of our journey, on my journey to be a better man. Perhaps in the future we will be together again. We will need to be whole again before anything else through his Grace and Love and it right this time around.

P.S Let me just say that your fears were unfounded about me and other girls and i've never cheated nor will i. Beauty in a girl is nothing but a word without His insight.